Trump Bans Marriage for 50 Year Olds, Must Be Able To Procreate

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AARP – A Trump staffer announced late Monday evening that the administration intends to ban marriages to couples 50+ years of age.

“The only reason for marriage is procreation. We’ve put together a list of marriages that will be illegal and punishable by death come February.”

Reportedly the list also includes the following:

  • gay/lesbian marriage
  • infertile women and men
  • anyone caught using birth control
  • anyone that refuses to have kids

In turn, it will now be legal for fathers to marry their daughters, for middle age white men to marry little girls as long as they are at least ten years of age and are menstrual, and for white men to have multiple wives.

A Romney staffer said, “Governor Romney is thrilled to see the country finally catch up with Mormon law.”

The Trump staffer said this law will go into effect within the first 30 days of the administration.