Trump To Change A Lot Of Obama’s Actions On Day One, Top Aide Says

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(FNN) – During the New Year’s party at Mar-a-Lago, a very drunk Trump top aide had many things to say about changes Trump will make on day one.

“First of all, day one is going to be huge. The greatest. Big league. We’re going to do things completely different than Obama. We’re finally going to bury the hammer and sickle with Russia. We’re talking about world peace here. We’re going to close Gitmo. Damned if I know why Obama didn’t do it but we’re going to get it done. We’re raising the Federal minimum wage to $15 per hour. Yes we are. And we’re putting an end to police shooting unarmed citizens. There’s no excuse for it. The police aren’t executioners. Everyone deserves a trial.”

When asked why Trump would do these things his drunk top aide said, “For Christ’s sake, he said he was a Democrat years ago. Republican voters are idiots.”

The assistant to the top aide whispered, “He’s drunk. He’s messing with you. Trump is only going to help out the billionaires. Everyone else is screwed.”