TRUMP TAPES FOUND! Staffer Says Healthcare Trump’s Way Of Grabbing Public By The Pussy

Posted on Updated on

An anonymous FBI source claimed today that the Trump tapes do exist and were found in a dumpster behind Trump Tower. We asked what were on the tapes.

“We were lucky to find them. They were buried in a dumpster under Melania’s fur undies. It took us two hours just to find something that would play them since Trump used old cassette tapes and recorded over them. All sorts of conversations were on them. In one conversation a staffer said Trump’s mean healthcare bill was just his way of grabbing the public by the pussy. After listening to the tapes I typed up a memo and had my friend leak it to the press.”

We asked what else was on the tapes about healthcare.

“There were discussions on who was worth allowing to have healthcare. They decided retirees and the disabled didn’t need healthcare due to the fact that they didn’t believe them to be productive low wage workers. The very sick, such as people with cancer or Alzheimer’s disease, didn’t need healthcare because they aren’t productive employees when they are being treated. But everyone seemed to agree that White House staff and Congress should receive free healthcare courtesy of the taxpayers. They all seemed to find themselves pretty important.”

Anything else on the tapes?

“There was a conversation about Russia but then the sound goes out and stays out for 18 minutes and 30 seconds. We believe the conversation was erased. Also, someone that sounded like Trump said,

[For history buffs, this was actually said by Republican President Nixon on his tapes -JB]

‘I’m not prejudiced. I’ve just recognized that, you know, all people have certain traits. The Jews have certain traits. The Irish have certain — for example, the Irish can’t drink. What you always have to remember with the Irish is they get mean. Virtually every Irish I’ve known gets mean when he drinks. Particularly the real Irish. The Italians, of course, those people course don’t have their heads screwed on tight. They are wonderful people, but…The Jews are just a very aggressive and abrasive and obnoxious personality.’

‘Bill Rogers has got — to his credit it’s a decent feeling — but somewhat sort of a blind spot on the black thing because he’s been in New York. He says well, they are coming along, and that after all they are going to strengthen our country in the end because they are strong physically and some of them are smart. So forth and so on. My own view is I think he’s right if you’re talking in terms of 500 years. I think it’s wrong if you’re talking in terms of 50 years. What has to happen is they have to be, frankly, inbred. And, you just, that’s the only thing that’s going to do it, Rosie.’ We’re trying to confirm who Rosie is.”