(FNN) – President Trump was rushed to the hospital Saturday evening. Reports are just coming in so details are sketchy at this time. A member of the White House medical staff says Trump retired early and, after falling asleep, stopped breathing.
“Apparently his breathing was obstructed but a CPAP won’t fix it because his heart shrunk and is 3X smaller than the average human heart. So he’s going to have to wear the black suit every time he sleeps.”
The suit is manufactured by Cyberdyne Systems which was recently aquired by Jeff Bezos. It’s priced at six million dollars on Amazon which has caused the White House staff to refer to Trump as the “Six Million Dollar Man” according to one White House source.
“He can’t stand when we call him that. He keeps yelling at us ‘I’m worth ten billion dollars! I can buy you all six times over! Some days I feel I’m worth twenty billion!’. We just laugh at him behind his back. I wish Priebus, Spicer, and my wife were here to see this. They’d all get a good laugh. This is off the record, right?”
Ironically, President Trump has an ObamaCare plan which has no yearly or lifetime caps so the suit is covered by the plan and Trump will continue to live. As it turns out, the suit wouldn’t have been covered under the previous presidential health insurance plan. But as Trump likes to point out, he could have afforded it without insurance.