Handel and Trump at Atlanta fundraiser.
ATLANTA – An anonymous White House source claims that Melania’s recent decision to move in with Trump is to keep Karen Handel away from her man.
“Melania is hugely jealous of my relationship with Karen Handel. Karen is hot for me big league. You’re not going to mention my name, right?”
When asked when Trump’s next visit to Atlanta is going to be, “Melania won’t let me go down to Atlanta anymore. That’s why I sent Pence down there. He sent me a text saying he was having dinner alone with Karen. I was shocked, big league, because I didn’t think he went in for that sort of thing. Ossoff is more Pence’s type, if you know what I mean.”
We asked our source if taping was going on in the White House but all our source would say is, “I’ll tell you about that maybe sometime in the very near future. I’m not hinting anything. I’ll tell you about it over a very short period of time. Oh, you’re going to be very disappointed when you hear the answer, don’t you worry.”
Cobb County – Karen Handel is double fisting her lightsabers as she attempts to fight off underdog Jon Ossoff. Georgia’s sixth district has been in the hands of Republicans for decades but Karen Handel has been losing elections for nearly a decade herself. It seems, with the recent GOP vote to take away healthcare, Ossoff has momentum, and the force, on his side.
He also has his fiancé at his side as he recently became engaged. Karen Handel was very gracious when she said, “I wanted to bark at you the way I get barked at.” In her defense she may have been drinking margaritas she bought with taxpayer money she received the last time she was in office. It’s rumored that the funds are running out and Handel needs a new Lexus which is why she decided to run for office again. Maybe some new chairs as well. She’s tired of being one of us.
A recent poll shows Handel in the lead but if every decent American shows up to the polls to vote for Ossoff he will easily win. Just remember to bring photo ID as Handel’s cron…um…people will certainly attempt to suppress the vote of decent Americans. There’s still time to register to vote so if you’re not registered do it quickly. Vote your Ossoff and flip the 6th. May the force be with you Jon.