Handel and Trump at Atlanta fundraiser.
ATLANTA – An anonymous White House source claims that Melania’s recent decision to move in with Trump is to keep Karen Handel away from her man.
“Melania is hugely jealous of my relationship with Karen Handel. Karen is hot for me big league. You’re not going to mention my name, right?”
When asked when Trump’s next visit to Atlanta is going to be, “Melania won’t let me go down to Atlanta anymore. That’s why I sent Pence down there. He sent me a text saying he was having dinner alone with Karen. I was shocked, big league, because I didn’t think he went in for that sort of thing. Ossoff is more Pence’s type, if you know what I mean.”
We asked our source if taping was going on in the White House but all our source would say is, “I’ll tell you about that maybe sometime in the very near future. I’m not hinting anything. I’ll tell you about it over a very short period of time. Oh, you’re going to be very disappointed when you hear the answer, don’t you worry.”
Cobb County – Karen Handel is double fisting her lightsabers as she attempts to fight off underdog Jon Ossoff. Georgia’s sixth district has been in the hands of Republicans for decades but Karen Handel has been losing elections for nearly a decade herself. It seems, with the recent GOP vote to take away healthcare, Ossoff has momentum, and the force, on his side.
He also has his fiancé at his side as he recently became engaged. Karen Handel was very gracious when she said, “I wanted to bark at you the way I get barked at.” In her defense she may have been drinking margaritas she bought with taxpayer money she received the last time she was in office. It’s rumored that the funds are running out and Handel needs a new Lexus which is why she decided to run for office again. Maybe some new chairs as well. She’s tired of being one of us.
A recent poll shows Handel in the lead but if every decent American shows up to the polls to vote for Ossoff he will easily win. Just remember to bring photo ID as Handel’s cron…um…people will certainly attempt to suppress the vote of decent Americans. There’s still time to register to vote so if you’re not registered do it quickly. Vote your Ossoff and flip the 6th. May the force be with you Jon.
Recent polls reveal that Democratic Party candidate Jon Ossoff is in the lead in the GA-6 district U.S. House race between him and Republican Party candidate Karen Handel. At first, husband Steve Handel thought it was incredible news that Karen was so close and applauded.
But Steve soon realized his mistake when Karen and he got home according to an anonymous White House source close to the Karen Handel campaign.
“It was a huge mistake. Big league. She should have asked Andrew Jackson to do it. He would have done a great job. Steve was in real trouble. You know how wives can be. She demanded he go out and find some Trump supporters to vote for her. He can’t threaten to deport her like I can with my wife. That’s when he sent out the tweet.”
Here’s the tweet.
And here’s the tweet he quote tweeted.
“He really thought the image would make Karen happy. Very happy. After all, it’s how she feels, big league, and how my supporters…I mean…Trump’s supporters feel. I still think the tweet will be huge and bring the Trump blacks to the polls. Blacks will be lining up to vote for Karen Handel. I promise you it will be so huge.”
Due to the negative attention the tweet has garnered it has been deleted. But the damage has been done.
“Karen’s super upset. It’s very bad. First she had to have Twitter shut down a parody account of her. Now her husband is sending out supposedly racist tweets. But it’s all fake news. The fake news media is blowing this up like it’s a big story. The tweet wasn’t racist at all. Everyone knows the Democrats have brain-washed the blacks.”
Here are some of the tweets from the parody account. Surprisingly not as racist as Karen Handel’s husband’s tweet.
“She’s contacted Twitter and asked them to shut down Steve’s account. Did I mention Karen thinks my hands are huge? Not that she’s a ten…Ivanka is way hotter than Karen. I’d be all over Ivanka if I wasn’t her…anyway…Karen is going to win. It’s going to be huge.”
Meanwhile, despite going after the black slave Trump vote, Karen Handel’s campaign is still working hard to suppress the black vote. As the image said, they are on the Democratic Party Plantation. Thanks Karen.
According to a source in the Trump administration, who’s working on the Karen Handel fundraiser, Karen Handel believes she has the solution to the transportation problem in Atlanta.
“This is going to be huge. I spoke with Karen and she tells me she was watching cartoons last Saturday morning when she met this man, George Jetson, who has the solution to the transportation problem in Atlanta. She says the idea is huge, big league. I believe her.”
He explained that she is going to manufacture flying cars.
“They’re going to be super fast. The fastest cars ever. And they’re going to be very luxurious. The best. You can count on Space Cadet Karen to deliver. Big league.”
We contacted Karen Handel’s campaign for a comment on this story but we were told she was at a Youth Pride meeting and can’t be reached at this time.
I-20 above, I-85 below
A source in the Trump administration has verified that President Trump, in his concern over losing the Georgia 6th District Congressional seat, held by Republicans for decades, to a Democrat, has purposefully damaged Atlanta’s highway system in order to keep people from making it back from work in time to vote.
“Trump believes that, if enough damage is done to the infrastructure of Atlanta, poor working Americans won’t have the time to vote due to the traffic. He spent huge amounts of taxpayer money to make this happen. We have our fingers crossed.”
Trump admitted to his plan in a tweet earlier today.
Representative John Lewis is leading the charge to start an investigation. More updates coming on this breaking story…